All Over Again

She asked me if I knew you…

And a million memories flashed before my eyes, through my brain, squeezing my heart, and lighting a fire in my soul…

All over again.

And then as quickly as it came, it was gone.

And I couldn’t say that I knew you, and I couldn’t say that I didn’t.

So without actually answering the question which had obliterated my complacent numbness, I put it the vaguest way that I knew how:

“It’s been a long time.”

It has been a long time; it’s been too long, my friend.

How could I even pretend that I don’t know you when I know everything?

How your nipples are always hard, how you skin is soft all over, how you always, always wear shorts. You have scars all over. You miss your mom every second of every day. You said you wished I could’ve met her – she would’ve loved me – and I wish that too. You pissed fire once, and I had cheese nipples, and that memory always makes me laugh.

Laughter’s why I fell in love with you.

Remember the time we laughed so hard I peed a little? Which made us laugh even harder. You said that was the moment you fell in love with me.

You used to drink to much, but you would always make it home. Except the one time that you didn’t, and I found you. I don’t know how and that doesn’t matter, because I will always find you.

She asked me if I knew you.

And I missed you with every single ounce of me, and with every drop of pain from the first goodbye…

All over again.

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