I’d lost my Faith so long ago

I began wondering if I’d ever even had it to begin with

And at the moments I needed someone to blame or to hate, I questioned God

Why couldn’t it have been someone else?

Someone ugly?

Someone forgettable?

Someone replaceable?

Someone else?

Even me!

Why her?

I started thinking death was the only thing I could be certain of

Survived By

Maybe they say “Survived By”

Because that’s what we’re doing

Just surviving

One moment to the next

One breath in

One breath out

Get through the mo(u)rning

Get through the night

Get through one day at a time

But each moment

Each breath

Each morning

Each night

Each day

It also feels like a part of me is dying over and over again

Barely able to breathe, but alive none the less

Maybe I’m surviving

But maybe I’m not surviving her at all


Her heart broke a little with each grievous goodbye

And healed a little with every touch of a new soul

Everyone she had loved had broken her a little differently

And everyone who had loved her

Put back the pieces of her heart

Each in their own special way

She was a work of art

A beautiful and unique masterpiece

A kaleidoscope of stained and broken, love and pain