Cherish Everything

Let me tell you about not sleeping and some life lessons I’ve learned.
I’ve suffered from insomnia for more of my life than I haven’t. Currently, I haven’t slept in 3 days. This often times last for weeks. I’ve gone months on end, it feels like years before.
It’s funny how your body continues to do functions when you get out of bed and go through another day meshed together with the last.
Your mental sharpness starts to go though. You can perform tasks like muscle memory – Go to work, take care of your family, do chores, run errands, but you start to forget or mix up your words, you become emotional or cry unreasonably, you have irrational fears or uncontrollable guilt, you stop smiling and being cheerful.
And then you can’t sleep some more. That’s just the beginning.
As you continually “float” each night, further and further into insomnia abyss, your physical functions start to go, along with the ability to focus – You get sick, unexplainable nausea, everything hurts, small amounts of anything cause really high highs and super low lows, blood pressure, blood sugar, dizziness, numbness, more irrational fear.
It’s insane what we go through even when running on a full tank of beauty sleep, let alone after years of this shit.
Guys, I have word dyslexia so bad during the day when I’m this tired. And it gets worse if the restlessness relents.
Floating – The place where insomniacs lie at night.
I do sleep… A little bit anyway. Mostly trial and error. I’m never comfortable. And my brain doesn’t know how to shut off.
The seldom hours of actual sleep is interrupted inevitably. And it’s always been this way.
It sounds strange, but I have gotten used to it. Not like I ever had a choice.
Melatonin helps. And there’s no doubt I could do a lot of things better to improve my quality of shut-eye. Maybe I’ll find a cure. Who knows?
Here’s what I’ve learned – Cherish everything – Your Loved Ones especially, your health, your time on this beautiful Earth, the warm place you sleep, the rest God gives you, His good Grace and Salvation, and every time you close your eyes and are blessed to open them again… Rejoice!
I hope you have a Good Night’s Rest, My Loves. Sleep Well. Cherish Everything.