Author: YouAreMyStars

Hello, Beautiful

To the girl I wish I’d met at the grocery store today

I was wearing jeans shorts, t-shirt and flip flops, my blonde hair curled and falling around my shoulders, sunglasses on my head

Between boys’ soccer practices, I saw you walking into Kroger

You were wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a fierce determination I could see even behind your oversized shades, your dark hair pulled back in a low pony

I could tell you knew exactly what you came here for, your speed walk was familiar

I watched you trip over your own feet in the middle of the main front entrance, recover, and keep walking like nothing happened

I wasn’t laughing at you, swear it was with you, it made my heart smile to see you

I followed behind you through the door, you didn’t get a cart even though you should’ve

You hung a left, likewise

Then a right, yep me too

I lost you, grabbed a handful of my list, arms too full, should’ve grabbed a cart

I chuckled when I passed you with your too many items to carry, and noticed none of them were the same as mine

That would’ve been too weird, I thought

I grabbed one last item and opted out of another

I didn’t see you on my way to the register, but I thought of you and wondered if I’d see you leaving

You have too much to do to fuck around

Get in, get your shit, get out

I speed walked to the check out and self scanned in a hurry

As I grabbed my bags and turned, you saw me powering toward the exit that I was about to beat you to

I smiled inside and out as you followed behind me out the door, shook my head and chuckled out loud

Cause I got it, whatever chaos you’re going through and how hard you fight to hold it all together

Yeah, I get it

And while thinking of how I wished I would’ve said hello to you, in the middle of the main exit, I tripped over my own feet, recovered, and kept walking like nothing happened

I hope you laughed when you saw me, as clumsy as you, not at me, but with me

Whatever it is that your going through, however busy you are, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 jobs, in the middle of a painfully ugly divorce, you’ve already washed dishes twice today, been to the store twice today, doctored a sick kid, spoken to lawyers, worked your ass off at your job, and your day is only half begun, only half over, pick up from practice, home for dinner and homework and showers, and more dishes and more laundry and attention deprived puppies, the morning will bring a repeat of the same, beginning with 3 alarms – one to snooze, one for me, one to wake up the boys for school, the fourth alarm is to leave the house for work, back to the grind tomorrow

You know I see you? And I know you’re sorry about all the things you’re not doing… Calling your friends enough, going to church enough, eating healthy enough, making enough money, spending enough time with family while you’re still blessed to have it, you worry about your babies, and being on time, and cooking dinner, and keeping all your shit together when it’s all falling apart

I see you, I think you’re amazing, “Hello, Beautiful.”

Alcoholism

Has life ever hurt you so bad that addiction kicks in?

And the first ice cold sip of a freshly cracked bottle

Reminds you of a time, not so long ago

When being drunk was like breathing to you?

The veins within you inhale alcohol into your blood stream

And it’s down that ice cold bottle of darkness and self destruction

That you lost yourself.

As it touches your lips, you feel yourself start slipping away again

And you can’t help but think,

It tastes so good.

Honey, I Am Home

Multitudes of universes.
It feels like I’ve been searching and fighting through infinite space and time.
To finally burst out of aimless wandering through oblivion.
And miraculously crash into each other.
As if we’ve been repeating endless numbers of lifetimes and versions of existence.
Knowing that if we didn’t find each other this time around, that we would try again in the next life.
Over and over and over again, despite impossible probability.
Overcoming all unimaginable obstacles.
In an unwavering, desperate effort to find you, touch you, hold you, keep you. Through the infinite expanses of space, and planets, and stars, and Heavens.
Across the soil, the seas, the skies, the souls of all the Earths.
And simultaneously within all dimensions of physical and spiritual reality.
My heart has searched for yours.
Honey, I am home.

Home

I love that I can sit with you through thunder, during storms, directly in the sunshine, under the moon, wishing upon shooting stars, mesmerized by the sunset, inspired by the light crashing between the clouds through the rain, and our spirits moved witnessing the rising and the setting of the sun, and no matter what the sky is doing… Anywhere I am beneath it… YOU feel like home to me.

To The Person Who Sees Me

Thank you for seeing me.
This is hard to do.
To have pain and anger.
Yet choose courage and strength.
To come here all alone.
I don’t blend in or stand out.
I’m familiar enough but too little recognized.
So people don’t usually even see me.
Which is fine, the indifference is mutual.
I wrote an honest note, and hoped for a miracle.
You saw me and you loved me.
I needed that more than you’ll ever know.
No one ever sees me the way you did.
I’m not sure you’ll ever understand how peaceful and comforting that felt.
Then you continued to say hello to me.
Thank you.
I hope to see people the way you do.
A little bit more like Him.
Thank you… For seeing me.
Please, keep praying for me.
Don’t ever let me go.

When It Hurts

I’m not trying to find a way around it.

Just through it.

It is just a part of life.

I will overcome in a way I’m proud of.

I’ll be able to say I learned a hell of a lot.

It doesn’t feel good right now.

It’s excruciating.

I hurt all the time.

It seeps into my bones, muscles and blood.

My heart hurts inside my chest from brokenness.

But I have faith.

And I have hope.

It won’t always be this hard.

And even this… Is beautiful.

Inevitable

It is strange to me how I can look back to a specific moment and remember exactly how it changed me.

Inevitably.

I remember the first time I associated your name with the feeling love.

I remember how amazing it felt to love you for the first time.

Yet crushing to know excruciating heartbreak was also inevitable.

As inevitable as falling in love with you was.

I wonder if it helped to have known it was coming.

I can honestly say it doesn’t hurt any less than being blindsided.

Inevitable is such a strange thing to know.

Such a bold statement, such a bold feeling.

I knew I was going to love you.

I also knew someday I would have to learn how to stop loving you.

And I told myself a million times not to do it.

Knowing how painful loving and losing you would be.

Inevitably, I still chose to love you.

I always knew, I think, that this would be one of my most favorite love stories.

While also knowing this would be one of my most deepest heartbreaks.

Inevitable. Is a strange feeling.

Today is the day we said “Goodbye” to each other.

Even though neither one of us actually said it.

I will never say goodbye to you.

In my heart, I will always say, I love you.

I had hoped to say that out loud for the rest of my life.

But nothing has ever been more inevitable.

Than the fact that you will never choose me.

And this is over.

I love you.

♥️ -Katie Roze

When Life Gives You Water Don’t Steal Lemonade 🍋

I had a very honest conversation with my sons today.

After they both got in trouble.
They both just stole lemonade.

Using a water cup instead of a paid-for-drink.

I told them the truth.

I drank water a lot growing up.

I put lemonade in my cup a couple times.

And I don’t ever want them to do that again.

We talked long and hard about it.

When life gives you water, don’t steal lemonade.

It’s been another hard day, like most lately.

But today, my boys and I talked.

For real.

And they are my lemonade. 😊